Finding Out

It was March 3rd.

Fast Sunday.

I was late.

And feeling very lightheaded.

I had always had weird "period stuff"

(abnormal cramping, irregularity, etc.)

The word Endometriosis had come up a couple times

But you can't really do anything for that

except wait and see if it messes with your ability to conceive

I never really worried though

Infertility wouldn't be my cross to bear

We decided early this year that it was time to start trying

(actually, Bryson did. I'd always been on board)

I wanted a baby the day we got married

and I had to learn to be patient

like I had had to learn so many times before

I just felt like our baby was ready

But Dad had to be ready too

And I'm so glad it took him as long as it did

There was one day towards the end of February

that I had a little panic attack

I knew I wasn't pregnant

I knew I couldn't get pregnant

I would have to wait longer

I did have endometriosis

I wouldn't be able to be a mom

And I think for those 24 hours I knew

what it felt like to be infertile.

The next day I went to the temple with my mom

And I was reminded of what I had known all along

Infertility was not my trial.

My body could do this conceiving thing

I left feeling happy and relieved

Back to March 3rd.

I had had sharp pains in my stomach

for the last couple of days

I figured it was some weird new pre-period symptom

but I was late

and that was actually out of the norm

Google is the best, isn't it? Smartphones are lifesavers, right?
I searched "sharp pains early pregnancy symptom"

And there was a whole message board!

I read how hundreds of women had this as their first pregnancy symptom

I took a screenshot of one story and sent it to Bryson

He responded "Very interesting..."

and left it at that.

How could he be so calm at a time like this?!

Church ended and I rushed out of Primary

Bryson was standing right outside the door

and we hurried to the car

He asked me if I had my wallet and I said no

He told me to look in the glove box

(where he always keeps a $20)

We both knew what we were going to do

But lo and behold!

A box of pregnancy tests!

The man had skipped out on Priesthood to go to Macy's.

"I figured it was better than both of us breaking the Sabbath,"

he said.

We got home and I charged toward the bathroom

with the man on my heels

"You're not coming in!" I said

"Oh, yes I am!"

"No way, Jose!"

"Then you better come out the second it says."

So I peed on the stick and hadn't even flushed

when that little plus sign showed up

I was screaming and laughing and yelling

"I'm pregnant!"

to Bryson, whose head had managed to find its way around the door

"No way, Jose,"

he said, because these things were supposed to take minutes

But there it was

and that logical boy couldn't deny the evidence

We were gonna be parents!